New Life

My brother and his wife gave birth to a new baby a week ago today: Hunter Tierra Morrison.

I met her last Friday. I knelt down to look at her precious little face. Her head was nestled in the crook of my brother’s arm.

I was surprised to find spontaneous tears of joy roll down my face. (I shouldn’t be…my cry button has been turned on since my trip abroad and I think there’s no turning it off now.)

But back to my new little niece…

She is so dear.

I couldn’t get over her little fingers. And those unusually long little toes.

Her tiny, tiny fingernails!

I had planned to visit my brother and his family on Friday but on Monday (my first workday back in over 4 months) I called him and anxiously let him know that I wasn’t sure when I could visit my new niece.

Remember drunk dialing? Calling people (usually ex-boyfriends) when you’ve had too much to drink? I haven’t done a lot of that in my life because I don’t drink much but I’ve now termed the phrase ‘stress dialing’ for what I sometimes do when I’m stressed out.

‘Stress dialing’ is when I call people to cancel plans way in advance of the actual date because I’m stressed in the moment and anticipating stress down the road.

So I told him I didn’t think I could make our visit on Friday and I blathered on and on about how stressful work had been that day.

His response? It was so thoughtful, especially given the fact that his wife had just given birth the day before and he was exhausted.

“Sis, it’s okay. Whenever you can make it is fine. It’s okay. It really is. You’ll get here when you get here. Just take it easy.” His voice sounded husky from lack of sleep and yet I could also hear the burst of happiness in his voice; happiness over his new daughter.

I called him on Tuesday when I came to my senses. When I wisely realized I can work and have a life. Oh yeah. I’d forgotten that during my self-imposed 16-hour first day back to work on Monday.

“I think I can visit you on Friday afterall.” I felt embarrassed and a little sheepish at having been such a stress case the day before.

“Great, if you can make it, you can make it. If not, no worries,” he said. “Oh, sis, she’s amazing. She’s so perfect. Wow, I have a new little daughter.”

Again, I could hear satisfaction, a deep and utter contentment from his voice.

I was determined to go for a visit on Friday.

On Friday I drove up with Jennie Low’s Chinese takeout in the seat beside me.

My brother answered the door with his new little girl in his arms. His eyes had a bright, bright look to them and his smile was wide and warm.

“Meet your new little niece,” he said.

That’s when I begin to cry. He’s right. She is perfect.

Being with my family on Friday was exactly, exactly where I needed to be after having withdrawal since I’ve come back from soulful Bali. In fact, oddly enough, being in their house felt like being in Bali again.

Let me explain…

First of all, in Bali family is the most important thing. After God, family comes first. So my making family more important than my work or whatever else I might have deemed more important or urgent helped me feel a bit like I was in Bali. Doing as the Balinese do. Putting family before work or anything else.

But mostly it was the softness and sweetness in the living room of their house that reminded me of Bali.

The sleepy, delighted and satisfied smile of new mom Shekinah. The gentle rocking of the baby in my brother’s arms. His looking at his new little one with eyes of deep love and presence. Intently studying her face to find his own.

Whenever my brother or his wife would get up from the sofa there was a deliberateness to their movements, an intentional slowness which I haven’t seen in other humans (including me) since I left Bali. Everyone hurries in America, don’t they? Again the question comes up for me: “Where are we going with all this busyness? And more importantly: does being busy all the time bring happiness and joy?”

Being in their slow, soft, loving energy felt so soothing and peaceful.

I talked with my 5-year-old niece while she played in the bath. I got wet from all her splashing. I got happy from all her giggling. We chatted about everything and nothing.

It was a great day.

I’m already looking forward to my next visit this week.

Tagged as: Family, Letting Love In, Saying Yes