I’ve been feeling reluctant to write in my blog the past few days because there is so much construction going on in this website and I’ve wanted it to be perfect before I have you see it. It’s still in the midst of being ‘remodeled’ and the revisions should be complete soon.
So until then, welcome to my imperfect, messy blog.
My webmistress (don’t you love that word?) Tonie has been absolutely amazing. If you need a webperson she is your gal! Shoot me an email and I’ll get you her information if you need someone to help you with your website.
Tonie has been incredibly patient with my incessant demands. I can get pretty nit-picky with website revisions. Anyway, she’s been (and continues to be) an absolute joy to work with.
Thank you Tonie. I’m grateful for your help with all of my websites. You rock!
So my blog is under construction and I am also experiencing some inner renovation.
It’s funny, I started the day with writing on my Facebook page: happy for no particular reason today.
And I had an amazing day. Even though it was super busy at work, it flowed and I felt in the groove.
Until two big things happened.
One with a staff member and one with a client.
And I got really angry with these two people.
I felt justified in being angry (and still do) but that doesn’t give me an excuse to really fly off the lid (is that a term? or is it ‘fly off the handle’? What part of the pot did I fly off of? HA!)
Anyway, I didn’t PAUSE before I called these two people to discuss why I was so upset. Instead I REACTED and was a total jerk. UGGGGGHHH.
And because I reacted out of anger things got much messier than they were before I had spoken with them.
Shoot.
After this happened I called Cydney to tell her about what happened at work today. I was in the hot tub with my phone and a big bag of chips.
Comfort food, comfort location and, the best part of all: comfort friend for my after-reaction turmoil.
“Cydney, how do you NOT react when you are really upset?” I asked.
“I think about what the consequences will be when I react out of anger. I imagine these consequences in great detail. And then I wait to act. I’ll sleep on it or wait until I am clearer and calmer.”
I wish I had done that today. Thought about the consequences of reacting out of anger before reacting.
Lots of people see me as very “sweet” and I know when people tell me I seem “sweet” that they still have some getting to know me to do. When I get upset it is like my instinctual nature takes over and I become a tiger when provoked. GRRRRRRRRRRR!
The growl doesn’t come out very often (thank goodness) but when it does I find myself having to don the janitorial gear and clean up the messes I made. Apologize. Say I’m really, really sorry. Which I had to do with this client and my staff member today.
I do want to live an unleashed life and I would like to have my anger on a leash so I can control it a bit more.
The ability to put my anger in a dog house with a steel door and lock would be nice too.
About Me: 
