Even though Kimberly is a new friend she feels like an old friend. And she felt like an old friend from the moment I met her. She’s got red hair which matches her fiery spirit. She’s clever and funny and smart. Kimberly’s an architect and has designed lots of beautiful homes. She can teach anyone to draw in 15 minutes. She’s also got a bit of a quirky side which I love: she’s written so many Yelp reviews that she’s considered an “Elite Yelper” and gets invited to lots of cool parties in her town of Austin, Texas.
If Kimberly were a man I would probably be dating her right now and wouldn’t have time to write blog posts because I’d be too busy traveling back and forth between Austin and Marin. But alas, she’s not a man.
So I’ve got plenty of time to write.
Here is the email I got from her this morning in response to my indecision:
Subject: Thoughts on the decisions making process–Warning, potential unsolicited advice/ideas
That is cool that you are listening to yourself about your trip and not just
“locked in” because you bought the ticket. I look forward to seeing how it
all gets worked out for you. In reading through your blog posts yesterday,
and then reading what you wrote below about your time with Cydney, I would like to say that you are where you are.
My observation of your process thus far is that it seems you have attributed
your choices to your conversations with others… it seems someone else is always co-authoring your choice… You have seemed to be along for the ride, but not sitting in the driver’s seat… And maybe last night with Cydney you started to see that you want to drive…
I totally get that you are confused, or you would not be continuing to
ask… And all of the directions and inquiries are the right ones for you to be in now.
I just want to hear, when you make the final choice of to go or not to go in 2010… I just want to hear YOU.
I know you don’t want to go… And I also know that you want your body to
tell you what to do, not your head. And you talked about that in your blog.
My body and my mind are often in conflict also… And I tend to overthink stuff… And talk to others, so I get it.
When I chose to go to the workshop and hot springs for a week, I knew it
was right in my body AND mind. I talked about it with 2 friends who are
very supportive and loving… But then I sat with it for a week before I
bought my ticket and it still felt right. It was not for three months, though,
so I applaud your boldness… And completely understand the hesitancy and reluctance to leave all that is comfortable.
You have been deliberating about this trip for a long time… You have sat
with your decision to buy plane tickets for longer than a week and now it
does not feel right. Can your mind talk to your heart? Can you sit with yourself and journal about where you are now?
Where we are every day changes so much… And within a day I can change my mind about the same thing several times. Can you be still and hike or meditate about this… You are where you are. You now have a plane ticket which can likely be exchanged for miles, probably not a big deal.
You totally did not ask for my blather, and I feel like everything I have
written is stuff you already know. Heck, YOU have been thinking about this a lot longer than me. But my sense of it is that, unless there is a 3 day purchase refund on the plane ticket, it would be good to sit with the ticket for a week and just feel what you are feeling about going.
Your freakout is for good reason. You have never really wanted to go… But something got you where you are. When you looked for “signs”, you found them… Opening to the exact page in the india book for example, which only means “go!” if you say so.
Is there anything hidden…like, what am I NOT saying about going? What am I NOT saying about staying? Blah blah, not sure why I am so charged about this… Guess I just want to hear that you KNOW this is right for you, in your heart and mind, not that you THINK this is right…
You can go or not go. Either way, you have benefited from the inquiry. Keep listening to yourself. You know what you need.
Sending hugs and clarity…
Kimberly
About Me: 
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Everything will work out, it always does… and if it doesn’t, you will work it out, you always do.
That Kimberly is hott. When are you coming for a visit…?
Sweet words…thanks.